lunes, 30 de marzo de 2009

feliz cumpleaños

Padre era Buzz Lightyear, y yo quería ser como él. Le recuerdo con su uniforme de camuflaje, lustrando amorosamente sus botas y limpiando su Desert Eagle. Me permitía jugar con ella, pero le ponía el seguro antes de dármela y se lo quitaba inmediatamente en cuanto se la devolvía. “Tienes que estar siempre listo para disparar, porque el enemigo siempre lo está”, decía.

Cuando me faltaba poco para cumplir los ocho, me dijo que tenía que dejar los libros y empezar a entrenarme. Yo fui muy contento a contárselo a madre porque no me gustaba nada estudiar, y esa misma noche me obligó a huir con ella y con mi hermana. Nos fuimos a lo de los abuelos. Cada día, al salir de casa para ir al colegio, veía a lo lejos la silueta de mi padre observándonos. Madre la veía también, se ponía nerviosa y nos hacía correr al galope hasta la escuela. Ella y mi hermana tenían miedo, pero yo no. Me sentía seguro cuando estaba con él.

Antes de la fiesta de mi cumpleaños, le dije a madre que si padre no venía, no quería fiesta ninguna. Él me había prometido mi primera pistola, una de verdad, no como esas tontas de juguete con luces de colores y ruidos grabados.

El día de la fiesta me encerré en mi habitación hasta que ella me dijo que padre estaba en la puerta. Bajé las escaleras corriendo y le vi entrar con otro hombre. Les di a cada uno un gorro de fiesta y nos sentamos a la mesa a comer la tarta. Padre, con aire solemne, uniforme de camuflaje y gorrito de fiesta, sacó la Desert Eagle. Pensé que iba a regalármela. Dijo “feliz cumpleaños” y se saltó la tapa de los sesos. Quise quedarme con la pistola, pero madre no me lo permitió. La tarta quedó salpicada de manchas como de dulce de frambuesa.

16 comentarios:

ludovico dijo...

¿Pero quién, pero quién,pero quién era el misterioso acompañante del padre? ¿Era el inspector del colegio del niño?

Helter dijo...

Clique en el enlace del dulce de frambuesa, y alucine... Era un policía incompetente cuya función era evitar que Guillermo Romeu hiciera una escabechina en la fiesta. Y no se le ocurrió cachearle.

ludovico dijo...

El anuncio de la F-500 FURY, sí que es de alucinante.

Dispara, dispara, dispara, dispara, no se salva ni el apuntador.

Helter dijo...

Pues sí. Por riguroso orden, primero pringa mamá, después papá, después la hermanita, y finalmente el portador del aparato. Del de disparar.

Harry Sonfór dijo...

Lo que está claro es que este hombre canalizaba mal la energía espiritual de los extraterrestres.

Helter, estoy casi seguro de que conocerá esta noticia tan bonica, que parece que la han hecho para usted, pero por si acaso se la pongo:

http://www.bild.de/BILD/news/bild-english/world-news/2009/03/26/phantom-killer-a-myth/police-track-DNA-of-cotton-bud-maker-for-two-years.html

koldo dijo...

a ver, que me parece que estoy fuera de juego: ¿uno que canalizaba "mal" se suicidó en el cumple de su hijo? ¿y su mujer ya se había ido corriendo por si acaso? ¿y le acompañaba un poli que no pudo hacer nada? ¿y las hermanas del niño estaban allí?
jo, la verdad, no me entero de nada.

Helter dijo...

Sip, Harry, ya la había visto. Y me he acordado de esta: http://www.caracol.com.co/nota.aspx?id=780798

Pues a grandes rasgos ya viene a ser eso, Koldo. Llámelo "canalizar", llámelo "estar como una puta cabra".

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